In these troubled times, many people are avoiding divorce. Alternatively, they might attempt to litigate or resolve their divorce and child custody issues themselves. Over the past fifteen years I have practiced as a family law attorney, I have seen many serious problems with divorce and/or child custody cases that were done without an attorney or with pleadings drafted solely by a paralegal. Yet, the issues in a divorce and/or child custody case are of vital importance since they involve children, assets, and debts. Getting the divorce done “right” can make all the difference in the world in terms of successfully moving on with one’s life.

I often hear that hiring an attorney to litigate is too expensive, but there is another way to fairly and safely get your divorce and custody case done without going to Court. It’s called mediation and some of the benefits are listed below.

Benefits of Mediation vs. Litigation

(1) Mediation is less expensive than litigation. We’ve all heard of divorces costing over 6 figures – most litigated divorces cost upwards of $20,000 per person. A mediated divorce or child custody action is much, much less expensive.

(2) Mediation often produces better results since the parties agree on the resolution. In divorce or custody litigation, a judge who does not know the parties or their children makes decisions for them that may not be agreeable to one or both parties.

(3) Mediation takes one to two months, whereas litigation takes four months to over one year… or longer!

(4) The parties have much more flexibility to agree upon child support and alimony based upon need and ability to pay. The Court does not have much flexibility with regard to child support since this is set by statute.

(5) In mediation, the parties can be taught how to avoid going to Court in the future.

(6) Mediation can be therapeutic in many ways, whereas litigation is an adversarial process that often hurts the parties’ ability to work together for the sake of their children.

Requirements for Mediation

I usually restrict mediation to parties who are likely to succeed in this process. The parties will need to be able to be in the same room with each other and interact in a civilized manner. Each party will need to be up front and honest in a divorce regarding assets and debts as the resolution of these issues impacts the future and any children. Custody also requires honesty about each party’s work hours, and salary. Basically, the parties must strongly desire to resolve custody issues for the benefit of their children.

Conclusion

Many of the mediations that I have done over the years involved people such as teachers, nurses, doctors, business owners, military and other professionals. I believe that mediation is a smart alternative to litigation. In mediation, my goal is to educate people so that each person can make an informed, intelligent, and educated decision pertaining to the resolution of all custody and divorce matters out of Court. However, I find that my knowing how to litigate is important to successful divorce and child custody mediation. My litigation experience allows me to know and understand how things will likely be resolved in Court by a good judge and this knowledge is useful for the parties to consider.

My belief is that litigation is contrary to successful co-parenting. For the sake of children, parties should not be allowed to litigate their custody and/or divorce dispute in Court until after they have attempted to resolve all their issues in mediation with a qualified and experienced mediator. In other words, if both parties want to avoid going to Court, then divorce and custody mediation wins hands down.

Over the fifteen years that I have been a Family Law Attorney in Las Vegas, Nevada, I have realized that clients do not always understand how to choose an attorney to handle their divorce, child custody, child support or other family law matter. Many potential clients think that the best attorney for them is the one that is the least expensive. However, this is often not the case.

If I was choosing a family law attorney for myself, then these are the important questions that I would consider:
(1) Do I like the attorney?
(2) Do I feel that I can trust this attorney with my divorce or custody situation based on his demeanor and experience?
(3) Does the attorney’s office answer the phone?
(4) Does the attorney or staff return calls quickly?
(5) Do all staff members seem to care about the client as much as the attorney does?
(6) Does the attorney and staff appear competent about the law?
(7) Does the attorney and staff appear competent in preparing necessary documents?
(8) Does the attorney and staff seem ready and able to handle your particular problem and other problems as they come up?
(9) Does the attorney and staff have time for your case?
(10) Does the attorney really take the time to listen to you and know your case so he or she will be ready to fight for you when it comes time to go to Court?

If you can generally answer these questions with a resounding “yes”, then there is a good chance you have found the right family law attorney.

Back in 2002 when I sought a divorce, I had no idea that there was a way to get divorced that didn’t include trashing my future ex-husband’s name through the mud, fighting lawyers, loads of money going to those fighting lawyers, turmoil for my kids and bad feelings all around. From everything I had seen on TV and from discussions with my friends, that’s how people got divorced. I was upset at my ex, of course, that’s part of the reason we were in this situation, but I realized that he was always going to be the father of my children and spending time and money to prove I was “right” about everything wasn’t going to solve any problems. Luckily, we had a consultation with an attorney who mentioned that since the divorce was uncontested, we might want to consider divorce mediation first.

We found a mediator who specialized in family law matters and over the process of a few weeks, we were able to decide on issues such as child support, custody, and division of assets and debts. We managed to remain on good terms and through the years, have celebrated our children’s achievements together, comfortably, and have co-parented with ease.

Fast forward to 2011. Unfortunately, we have recently realized that the mediator we used didn’t touch on all of the financial issues that should have been discussed and decided back in 2002. That’s where having a mediator who is also a family law attorney would have benefited us. Brian Steinberg is an attorney and mediator. His mediation model covers all of the issues my ex and I discussed, plus issues we never thought of at the time, because Brian has so much experience with divorce mediation over the years. He’s mediated hundreds of divorce actions and in 15 years, a Judge has never set-aside any of his divorce mediation cases.

If you’re thinking about divorce mediation, I suggest you take Steinberg Law Group up on the free consultation offer. You will spend thousands less than if you hire opposing lawyers and go to court. You’ll also save yourself time and heartache. Talk to Brian about divorce mediation… you’ll be glad you did.

Tune Out to Tune In

Vice President of Relationship Marketing, Hillary Torchin, writes for the ‘Family First’ section of Las Vegas Woman Magazine.  Check out her August article, “Tune Out to Tune In” right here.

Brian Steinberg was born and raised in Las Vegas, NV, the youngest son of Faye and Dr. Leon Steinberg, founder of Steinberg Diagnostic Medial Imaging. While both of his two older brothers and his younger sister chose to follow their father in fields of medicine, Brian decided to go in another direction… family law.

As a teen, Brian attended Valley High School, then college at UCLA and the University of Arizona, a stab at medical school and the realization that his heart was passionate about helping families, especially children, and the best means for him to attain that goal was through family law. He graduated from Southwestern School of Law and after a few years, set up his own firm, Steinberg Law Group.

I sat in Brian’s office for a few days while his assistant was on vacation. What I saw was transforming. Despondent people walked into his office, looking like the weight of the world was on their shoulders. As they emerged from his office, you could physically see how the weight had been lifted, how they felt hopeful and empowered. I asked Brian about the process. “As a family law attorney, you really do earn the title ‘Counselor’, because most of what I do with my clients is listen and ask questions”, he explained.  “Sorting through issues, coming up with solutions, actively taking part in the process and getting results” are part of his daily life.

While litigation has been the backbone of Steinberg Law Group since inception, mediation has become more and more important to Brian.  “With mediation, clients can invoke the moral universe as well as the legal universe in order to come up with custom-tailored solutions”, he explained.  “Mediation is generally less expensive, private and less time-consuming than litigation.  Plus, a judge doesn’t know you, your children or your particular situation.”  He has set forth an initiative to educate the public about family law mediation.  “Many people don’t realize that there is another way of handling a divorce or child custody action that doesn’t involve opposing attorneys and that leaves people more open to co-parenting”, he said.

Faye and Leon’s marriage showed Brian how good a relationship can be. He sees his parents making a difference in Las Vegas, nationally and internationally, actively taking part and contributing to causes that change people’s lives.  In his own way, helping people through extremely difficult times of their lives, Brian Steinberg is making a difference.

Nevada attorney Brian Steinberg has built a strong reputation as a native Las Vegas family law attorney with 15 years of experience. Steinberg has been a strong proponent of family law mediation and is making a concerted effort to educate the Southern Nevada community about the benefits of mediation versus going to family court, a process that is often lengthy and extremely costly to all parties involved.

“A judge doesn’t know you or your children and a divorce does not have to be a Jerry Springer-type ordeal,” Steinberg said.

Rather than a family court judge making cookie-cutter decisions that impact the rest of the lives of all parties involved in a typical court case, mediation provides both parties with custom tailored results. A process Steinberg says provides a less challenging means to an end when it comes to family law cases.

“People who mediate are generally happier with the results, feel empowered and are more able to co-parent,” said Steinberg, who added that mediation is also private and costs considerably less than litigation, which is a public process, and is usually far more expensive and time consuming if done with a lawyer. The average Clark County litigated divorce costs upwards of $20,000, while mediation generally is less than $5,000. “Those dealing with family challenges do, in fact, have the opportunity to explore mediation first before going to court.”

According to Steinberg, there is a large segment of the population that can be educated in the use of family law mediation.

The key thing about the mediation format that Steinberg uses is that parties may resolve disputes using both the “legal universe” in addition to the “moral universe” which explains why the results are often much better and longer lasting than those achieved by litigation in Court. Additionally, the mediation process has a therapeutic value, which allows parties to more readily move on with their lives and commence a productive and working relationship with each other as parents.

“Parties who successfully mediate their case often will never enter a courtroom since they consciously made the decision to take control of their own lives and destiny to insure better results for themselves and their children,” Steinberg added.

Steinberg’s model requires approximately 3-5, two-hour sessions over the course of 1-2 months for completion.